Harry Reid Exercise Accident Jokes

My Jokes


Divorce court is so bad that a judge heard me yelling in traffic, and now the freeway has a restraining order against me.

Divorce Jokes




No matter what ails you, when you're in the shower, you're temporarily OK.

You may not know this, but the same condition exists when you take a short motorcycle ride.

During the ride, you are immortal.

I got up feeling especially lousy the other day, so I got on my bike and rode through a car wash.

Divorce Court is so bad that, illegal aliens offered to get me into their country.


Divorce Court is so bad that, Delilah was acquitted of any wrong doing in the Samson case.


Divorce Court is so bad that, a judge granted my petition to end child support because my children had grown up, and used his ruling as evidence that I could afford more SPOUSAL SUPPORT.


Divorce Court is so bad that, the Halloween Store's Domestic Violence Makeup Kit has become their biggest seller year round.


Divorce Court is so bad that, gay marriage among men is promoted so that FemiNazis can conclude that men are always the Primary aggressor.


Divorce Court is so bad that, rape has been redefined as anything that happens between a man and anybody.


Divorce Court is so bad that, Jamie Mc Court has been voted LA's Business Woman of the Year.


Divorce Court is so bad that, even my Olvera Street driver's License has been revoked.


Divorce Court is so bad that, my emergency suicide revolver didn't work for me because it had been used by six other guys.


Divorce Court is so bad that, a rose by any other name could be kept, as long as it wasn't in MY name.


Divorce Court is so bad that, though I went "armed to the teeth," my ex went "legged to the pussy."


Divorce Court is so bad that, I can't call myself a basket case. They didn't even leave me the basket.


Divorce Court is so bad that, when I told my ex "I'm leaving if I have to leave in my underwear." She said, Are you crazy?" I said back, "Okay, you can have my underwear."


Divorce Court is so bad that, my daughter said, "Blood is thicker than water. I'm going to live with MOM."








Harry Reid was injured in an accident with exercise equipment and rushed to one hospital and then another. Imagine the ambulance chasers on this one.


Was Reid exercising to loose weight? His ideal weight would be 5 pounds including the urn.


Reid shouldn't need much exercise, he runs hard every day, from the truth.


You'd think Reid would be in great shape after 14 years of beating up Bush.


Gym exercise? Harry Reid? I thought all he exercised was Congressional privilege.


Reid's exercise regimen:

Jumping to judgment

Sidestepping the facts

Pushing his luck

Climbing over his Party Members

Wrestling with his conscience


Harry Reid should take a nice long walk, into the sunset.


If Harry Reid is exercising, does that mean he may start carrying his own weight?


Find out what kind of exercise machine he had, and please send one to Nancy Pelosi.


Reid works out at home because in a commercial gym with walls of mirrors, everybody would see that he has no reflection.


Harry Reid isn't sharp enough to handle a big rubber band, take that Nevada voters.


Pole dancing is one thing. Poll dancing is another.


If exercise makes you sweat, shoving 0bamacare down our throats must have made Harry stink


Congress's Harry Reid was hurt by exercise. IRS's Lois Lerner was hurt by extra spies.


If Reid is really interested in body building, he needs to consider supplements.

Income supplements

Campaign contribution supplements

Transportation supplements

Housing supplements

Medical care supplements

Entertainment supplements


Harry Reid could get "the body he deserves" simply by a visit to Dr. Kevorkian.



Harry Reid doesn't use dumbbells because he feels that Americans should be disarmed.


If Harry Reid builds a body to rival Arnold Schwarzenegger, do you think he will be compelled to screw an ugly housekeeper.


Harry Reid did it like a gold digging girl. Go to the gym, work out, get in shape, and then put yourself in front of a doctor


Oh no, I hope Reid didn't injure his "reaching across the aisle" arm.


Harry Reid's darkest secret in that he really wants to be Chuck Norris.


The only way Reid is going to get a hot body, is by being cremated.


Harry Reid fell down and injured his face and ribs. Hmm... Makes me think of Ted Kennedy for some reason.


Harry Reid's regimen: all the fruits and nuts he can handle.


Sure Harry Reid is into gun control, he got "taken out" by a rubber band.


When Harry Reid tells you he's going to the gym, he's not bragging, he just wants you to know where to send tthe ambulance.